Family Relationships

As I’ve been teaching here, there have been a few topics that are just standard cultural and linguistic knowledge that I can assume that my students at home know, and I’ve been surprised by the complete and total lack of understanding from my students. Like the difference between vowels and consonants. Christianity as a general entity. When I bring up these topics, I usually see a sea of blank faces followed by a hand raised by one brave student: “Teacher, what is a vowel?” “What is the difference between Catholicism and Christianity?” And then we have a discussion on the topic, and I feel a little bit smaller, but a little bit better at having expanded my world view, and having helped my students do the same.

This week’s topic has been more subtle, but longer lasting. As is usual in a beginning Spanish conversation class, we got to the chapter on families. You know, Mom, Dad, Brother, Sister, except wait, they don’t have brothers and sisters here, because of the one child laws. And that means that there are no Aunts and Uncles, Cousins, Brother or Sisters in law, Nieces, Nephews, or more than half of the words on the list. And while they are aware of the concept, and a few of them have a sibling, or an aunt and a cousin, none of these relationships exist for them not only in their personal lives but as part of their CULTURE.

I feel a profound sense of tragedy when I think that as a culture they won’t get to experience relationships that all mean so much to me. It means that my mother would only have one child. It means that she would only have one grandchild! I wouldn’t even be here, because only my older brother would have been born, but if it had been me instead, I wouldn’t have my nieces, or my nephew; I wouldn’t have my sisters in law who mean so much to me. It would just be me. I feel so lonely thinking about that existence.

One of my students said that one reason that Chinese girls develop such close friendships, and walk holding hands or arm in arm with their friends is that they like to pretend that they are the sisters they never had. I am particularly grateful this week to have my brothers and sister to walk arm in arm with, and to know that they can be part of my family forever.